Vampires Suck


Action / Adventure / Comedy / Horror

Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 5%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 29%
IMDb Rating 3.4 10 42631


Uploaded By: OTTO
Downloaded 53,567 times
September 26, 2012 at 04:17 AM


Arielle Kebbel as Rachel
Ken Jeong as Daro
Ike Barinholtz as Bobby White
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
701.15 MB
23.976 fps
1hr 22 min
P/S 0 / 25
1.20 GB
23.976 fps
1hr 22 min
P/S 1 / 9

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by brosensanke 3 / 10

A strange comedy

When I was watching trailers on YouTube, I stumbled upon this film. I was bored so I decided to watch it, although it didn't seem such a high- quality movie. Luckily I had nothing else to do, otherwise this was a waste of time.

It is obvious that this movie is a parody of 'Twilight', a film of which I thought wasn't that bad. Most parodies I have watched made the film a little bit ridiculous, but 'Vampires suck' took it a few steps further. They exaggerated everything too much, that some scenes weren't even funny anymore. Some other scenes were so weird, therefore I was often confused. For example the scene where the werewolves suddenly start doing a strange dance to 'It's Raining Men', I have to admit, I laughed a little, but just because I felt so uncomfortable.

One thing I did thought was a little bit funny, were the fan girls of team Edward and team Jacob, because when 'Twilight' was a thing, those two 'teams' actually existed. I especially laughed at the ending, which was also the only time I laughed, when one of the fan girls hit Edward and yelled, with a very manly voice, "Team Jacob, bitch!".

You may know the films 'Epic Movie' or 'Disaster Movie'. Well 'Vampires Suck' fits perfectly in that list. It is just as peculiar and cringy as those other films. The only time I would recommend this film, is when you have some leisure time and you want to think about absolutely nothing.

Reviewed by alzewgaming 5 / 10

I Didn't quite watch this movie.

i shouldn't rate this movie since i haven't watched it,but i read most of the reviews and 1 of them was a review that said it was "good" and 4 of them said that the movie was bad. and most of these reviews were a bunch of people saying "UR MAKING FUN OF THE MOST AWESOME THING THE WORLD GO KILL URSELF" these people are legit taking a parody movie serious,i'm not making fun of these people i'm just saying people shouldn't take this very serious. and this is the definition of parody. parody:an imitation of the style of a particular writer, artist, or genre with deliberate exaggeration for comic effect. there you go. this movie is a joke not more than that people shouldn't take this seriously.

Reviewed by ahmed elshikh 5 / 10

Unlike all of their movies, this doesn't compete for "The Worst Friedberg & Seltzer Parody" !

While Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are specialized in parody movies, just mentioning their names makes you scared more than optimistic. They are famous for being the ones who actually killed the genre in the 2000s by their many horrible comedies. Though, in this parody of Twilight (2008), the matter is surprisingly different !

On one hand, it has its share of downsides. Bore is on their top. It is the archenemy of comedy, and – regrettably – there are kinds of it here. For instance, the heavy editing, which doesn't "cut" at the right moment, mostly cuts after it. The old jokes that seem recycled from The Naked Gun franchise (3 movies from 1988 to 1994), like the electric underwear, and having a funny fight in the background of a funny dialog. Jenn Proske, as the lead character, tucked her hair behind her ear for at least 7996 times ! True that this is a spoof of Kristen Stewart's performance in the original movie, but doing it in every moment of every scene gets on your nerves sorely, and gives the bore a party. And naturally, it isn't a Friedberg & Seltzer movie without their signature repulsive and dated gags; concerning farts, bloody wounds, sexual humor, handicapped people, contemporary products and The Kardashians !

But on the other hand, there are some positive points which's something totally new for Friedberg & Seltzer. Since the double meaning title, I felt some creative spirit that, thank god, didn't end there. Look at ideas like how Becca sees Edward in everyone and everything, how Jacob turns into Chihuahua, how his gang of werewolves looks gay. The second half was energetic and largely funny, having proofs of effort and smartness. Nearly everything related to the heroine's annoying sidekick is clever. And despite couple of gross out moments in it, the prom's climactic sequence was, and still is, the best Friedberg & Seltzer comedic sequence ever made to date.

This time it's clear that Friedberg & Seltzer didn't lean completely on the ugly dirty stuff which they adore. Hence, this is a PG-13 movie. But whether that was their choice, or something they were forced to do, they managed to handle the semi-clean comedy well. It pushes you to pray "God, make all of Friedberg & Seltzer's movies PG-13, because this is the way for their comedies to be not only bearable, but funny as well !".

As most of their movies, the cast consists of newcomers with no name actors. Fairly, they were OK, with a bit of charisma and talent. However, 2 performances stood alone; Anneliese van der Pol, from That's So Raven, and Diedrich Bader who can steal any show. By the way, I still wonder how come that Bader isn't in a lot of movies, as a lead or even co-lead, as he deserves ?!

Compared to Friedberg & Seltzer's previous duds, you can notice cinematic improvement. I mean this time there is things like music score, cinematography, atmosphere, and coherence. Generally, Vampires Suck is more movie-like, not static and poor TV sketches-like as we used to have from them, for years, under the name of parody.

So yes, this parody has some comedy, some cinema, some entertainment, being far from bad. However, it's not perfectly good either. It's rather half good. And as for Friedberg & Seltzer's known by heart level, this is quite super !

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