I didn't know this film was this old. For a long time I felt like "I kinda wanna watch it, but have a feeling it won't be very good". But, yesterday night, my internet connection was so bad this was the only movie that loaded.
Well, I thought about being sarcastic here, or a bit offensive as some people were. But no, there's no need for that. This is certainly one of the "top 5 worst" films I've ever watched. Seriously, it's that bad. Actually, it's much worse than "that bad". What attracted me? Well, Milla is very good looking, her body is very sexy and she seems to love doing action movies. And the whole future + mystic thing sounded like a good idea.
The opening imitates the Marvel movies, with Comic Books and all. I thought that Ultraviolet was indeed a comic book, but it isn't. So, as I see it, the opening is a lie. They didn't need to do that. In fact, nothing at all (about the movie) resembles a comic book. Then, Milla speaks the first lines, telling the story of this version of the future: the US military altered a virus that changed humans into something else, the whole world changed and a tyrant rules everything. It's like Resident Evil's poor cousin, but with the same actress.
OK, so, the story is stupid. And it goes like this: US military finds a virus, change the virus, lose control of the virus; virus changes people into vampires that walk on daylight and don't drink blood (ever!); a cliché and totally predictable tyrant rules the world (or the US, they never said so) and uses soldiers to hunt down the vampires. They don't say why they hunt the vampires, but they do. No normal human during the movie expressed any hatred towards vampires, fear of the virus, angered towards the tyrant. In fact, only the vampires and military do anything at all; the normal humans just walk around.
And Milla, of course, is a vampire that "fights back". And we're supposed to cheer for her. Just because. No other reason given.
Oh, and there's also the cliché of "the last hope", that is a child/clone who carries a virus, that either kills all vampires or all humans. They ping-ponged between those possibilities. Milla first tries to protect the kid, then doesn't care if he dies, protects him again but he dies, she cries and he's no dead. But she is dying. She tells the kid that mid movie. She doesn't say why she's dying. Then she does die. Then a vampire that loves her brings her back to life and she hates him for that.
Then, in the end, I'm not quite sure what happens, but both her and the kid were about to die (again), but don't. Or they did and I just didn't get it, my brain was trying hard to block anything that came from that movie.
The special effects are horrible! Considering the movie was released in 2006, it's all horrible. If it was released in, say, 1995 or so, they I'd say "ok, they did their best". But that just looked like a very poor game for PlayStation2. That's for the action sequences. The entire city is CGI of terrible quality, that resemble PlayStation1! Yes, seriously!
Her acting is the worse I've seen of her. As the story makes no sense, the dialogues can't be saved. Weird ultra-cliché lines, everything is predictable and I'm pretty sure Milla's character is retarded. Her hair and clothes change color all the time. It was supposed to be cool, but it's just weird and stupid. She always wears the same thing, showing her midriff. OK, she does have a sexy flat tummy that I love, but everything about her is completely different from everyone else. For someone doing a covert operation, she seems to be holding a banner saying "I'm here, look at my belly button!". (which I did!)
The technology is absurd! A motorcycle that runs on building's wall (up and sideways), jumps, flies and does other stuff. Guns that appear from her hands, with infinity ammo, swords with blades covered in runes and fire...it's all too much, all too absurd!
And she is unstoppable. She outsmarts computers that scan blood and bone, then walks naked through a big scanner (I don't know what they were scanning now if they scanned her earlier...maybe they just wanted to see her butt). When she's gonna be mean and go "full crazy fighting mode", she put of her sunglasses (that she wears under the motorcycle helmet) and says "Watch me.". She fights one, ten, dozens...and then hundreds of soldiers. Never gets hit once! Never bleeds! Never runs out of breath. She's never afraid. She's always sure of what she is doing, and who gets in her way dies.
I think she killed some 2000 enemies (soldiers and her fellow vampires). All soldiers wear the same uniform and have the same weapons: assault rifles and long blades. By the end of the movie, some elite soldiers wear all white. So, I'm thinking they had like 10 or 12 extras to use as soldiers and everything had to be repeated. The low F.X. points to low budget, so I think that was it. She only bleeds at the end of the movie. But she wins. She kills everyone. Because she wants to. It's never really clear who is the bad guy or the good guy. But she is Milla, she is hot and she fights back. So they want us to cheer for her. But we can't! There's no reason for it. At all. We don't care about any character in this movie, or what happens next.
So, lame story, no plot, no character's depth, horrible F.X., impossible technology, exaggerated fights and an avalanche of clichés.
If you're 10 years old, you're gonna love this!
Action / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller
Action / Horror / Sci-Fi / Thriller
Set in the late 21st century, a subculture of humans have emerged who have been modified genetically by a vampire-like disease, giving them enhanced speed, incredible stamina and acute intelligence, and as they are set apart from "normal" and "healthy" humans, the world is pushed to the brink of worldwide civil war aimed at the destruction of the "diseased" population. In the middle of this crossed-fire is - an infected beautiful woman - Ultraviolet, who finds herself protecting a nine-year-old boy who has been marked for death by the human government as he is believed to be a threat to humans.
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June 23, 2012 at 01:20 AM