The Seminarian


Action / Drama / Romance

IMDb Rating 4.1 10 457


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1hr 41 min
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Movie Reviews

Reviewed by hddu10 1 / 10

Gay angst revisited (badly)

Full disclaimer; I actually started watching this believing it was another movie with the same title, yet within seconds of the opening sequence and hearing that whiny "gay voice", I knew exactly what this film would be about; a self-indulgent, boring gay-themed movie where type-cast Mark Cirillo proves (yet again) that full frontal nudity in a gay indie does wonders for any actor's career (he keeps his towel on for a full 50 seconds this time). If anyone really had the writing skills to explore this theme (i.e. a gay evangelical Christian in seminary) there would be ample fodder for entertainment, but of course the writer/director relied on Mark's willingness to essentially do anything in front of the camera, hoping that someone would find it titillating enough to forget the script and acting is complete crap. Too many cases of long pauses, contrived dialogue and meaningless scenes to count. Surprisingly, out of a cast of horribly bad actors, Javier Montoya stood out as being exceptionally bad; I didn't believe he had a pulse, let alone that he was gay seminarian. In fact, other than some theological quotes and questions thrown in here and there, this is just another low-budget, badly made film about gay angst. I would not recommend this movie to anyone.

Reviewed by Joe Day 1 / 10

This is Why God frowns on homosexuality

I am a product of the Harvey Milk Days and this film illustrates a new kind of 21st Century gay. Oh sure, the "good 'ol days" had their share of pathos and heartbreak - drama - but I find it curious that in this day and age, after 40 years of come out, come out and teaching in schools that homosexuality is okay and everything, that this kind of shallow, passive-aggressive, timidity among young gays (particularly on campus) still exists.

Early on our hero poses to his Academic adviser (he attends a top religious-based school and refs to himself as a seminarian) that his belief is that if God is "good", then why does he make "love" so difficult to achieve? He fails to complete the thought, however, in that he stops short of saying, why does God make it so difficult for homosexuals? If he had gone that far and perhaps examined his own life and all those he surrounds himself with, he might find his answer.

He has two or three equally closeted co-students and they have to be the most boring crowd anyone can imagine. They are all cute in a nauseating way, concerned about their physiques, etc. They get online and cam-sex. They all give varying rationalizations for even being at seminary, none of which have anything to do with having faith in Jesus. I would feel better if they just admitted that they came to meet guys.

In what has to be some of the most stilted dialogue ever and equally dull performances, this film is the flip side to the flamboyance of say Bear City, although both illustrate the desperation and hopelessness of pursuing the homosexual "lifestyle." And all of this couched in that magic word that has been so bastardized - love.

Hey seminarian, lust is not love; sex is not love; you are not making love in the back seat of some trick's car nor in the tea room at college - right there, where anybody could walk in and see you, Mr. in-the-closet!!!!

Love is not difficult if you do it the way God designed. It isn't. Only when you go outside of His plan, do the complications occur. Likewise with any of Jesus' prohibitions: drink too much, smoke too much, fool around on your wife, steal a car, lie on your taxes, etc. There is a REASON God says don't do it. Because it will hurt you!!!

Usually, in these gay Christian vs. the Bible flicks, homosexuality wins, mainly because the subject finds some way to justify their "love" for another man through the so-called love of Jesus. No where have I ever seen one of these that acknowledges the existence of Satan or the possibility that sodomy itself is a product of evil intentions on the part of Satan. Jesus talks about Satan a lot so he must exist. We know that men can love one another with no hint of homosexuality whatsoever too. So, if the belief is that God created man and woman to be together and not the proverbial "Adam and Steve", if we acknowledge that God does not "make mistakes", then like the fall of Adam and Eve at the slithering of the serpent, it can also be true that sodomy was part of the curse inflicted upon mankind as part pf that Original Sin. In other words, were the serpent to say to a man of another man: God says do not put that into your mouth but He just wants you to be miserable; He knows you will like it, i.e. forbidden fruit, and you fall for that line, then guess what?

You wanna tell these poor slobs to just get a life. Sitting around waiting for the phone to ring from some guy who is even sicker than you are, even more guilt-ridden than you are doesn't sound like much fun, particularly when all of you are such beta doormats it isn't even funny. Makes you wonder what would happen to any of these twinks were they to find themselves in a rough leather bar. All, however, would make excellent prison fish.

Heck, I am straight and even I would smack them around and make them do what I wanted.

Reviewed by B.g. Thomas 2 / 10

I Cannot Recommend This Movie--I Want My Time Back

Is it a spoiler when I say this movie left me depressed?

If you want to watch a seemingly endless rambling movie that is depressing, then I highly recommend The Seminarian. If on the other hand you don't want to waste one hour and 41 minutes where when you get to the end you sit there wondering why anyone would even make such a film—then I don't recommend it. My guess is that the author of this piece is a very unhappy man and wants you do be as well. Like, "Love is a curse from God and why should I be the only one that suffers? I want my audience to suffer as well." This film was not for me and I am pretty angry that Josh Middleton of GPhilly recommended it. I wish I could sue to get my time back. I obviously won't watch anything else he recommends or that Joshua Lim, the writer and director, makes. I don't need my every movie to have a happy go lucky happily ever after ending...but God. It's a good thing I'm not suicidal!

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