Raptor Ranch

2013

Action / Adventure / Comedy / Horror / Sci-Fi

13
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 13%
IMDb Rating 3 10 539

Synopsis


Uploaded By: OTTO
Downloaded 23,374 times
October 05, 2014 at 06:05 PM

Director

Cast

Lorenzo Lamas as Special Agent Logan
Kim Matula as Josie Hutchens
Donny Boaz as Lucas Young
1080p.BLU
1.24 GB
1920*1080
English
NR
23.976 fps
1hr 30 min
P/S 5 / 1

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by Michael Ledo 2 / 10

I gotta have squirrels

Dr. Cane (Jack Gould) secretly raises raptors on his quiet ranch, gathering up road kill. Alas, Dr. Cane can't seem to control the herd as one of them has eaten Abbi's mom while she was praying. Abbi (singer Jana "cleavage" Mashonee) leads a group of young adults away from the raptors, driving around in the Partridge Family bus.

The film created some colorful characters, but they were too shallow and lacked the needed dialogue to make the film interesting. Raptor special effects were fairly decent for a low budget film.

Film is about on scale for a made for TV flick. Jana Mashonee is gosh awful pretty in a set of Daisy Dukes and the only reason I would ever watch the film again.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs or nudity. Clothed sex scene with minor groping and raptor.

Reviewed by rumpsavage 7 / 10

What a f*ck is this?

This was obviously made around the time the first Jurassic Park appeared´╗┐. I think Velasa Raptor was name Beth. How they did this? IDK but lamas is in it and he does a couple gags. Lol. It was as if dinos were in the bus but they didn't know. Especially the part with the twinkies :) was funny.

IF you watch THIS flick make sur you watch it with frends because it is fonnier with them. Also, The cgi was actually good. I think they used the Myst engine from the hit game King's Quest. Also, If you look closey at 5min 30sec you can see the gerpantis of the main girl when she gets out of bed which kind of was hot because there is another sex scene quick but there are not any shots of anything like body or bum so this was good to start.

-5/10 Bethany Cokes

Reviewed by dragongirl764 2 / 10

Diversity in different ways

This movie was just a completely different movie than I had imagined. And it's all thanks to the "uniqueness" of the characters, if I may call it that.

Here we have the stereotypical, bossy, Green Arrow impersonator, driven waitress who works for a stereotypical sleazy, fat, greasy, inappropriate, degrading politician/restaurant owner/toy store owner/car dealer who decides to use his power in a town of THREE, count 'em, THREE people. We also have the old farmer who just so happens to be a mad scientist/ doting pet owner on his farm of dinosaurs who can somehow miraculously use up ALL of the gas in town...until morning when apparently the town revitalizes EVERYTHING, including the girl's and guys' broken down cars. How, you ask? I'm guessing magic!

We also get, in this treasure trove of diversity, a gay BLACK guy. Yes, you read that right. A gay, jazz singing black guy with his two backstage singers. One is a dumb, blonde slut who LOVES everything and the other is the very embodiment of all things emo-teen- psychopathic. I honestly don't know where they come up with that! It's brilliant! And then we have the dorky-yet-cute and wimpy college dude forced onto a ski trip (through the desert) by his skirt chasing Nimrod buddies (one is hot, one could lay off the chips).

And the dinosaurs are characters of themselves. We have the ever so watchful velociraptors, who are basically just there for a show...I think one of them went for country food later. We have the GURL-POWER ULTIMATE CYAN BLUE FEMALE WHATTHEFUDGEISITASAURUS REX! And then we have the T. Rex, A T. REX, who decides mid chase that he will not be confined to just being a hunter. He shall also be an interior decorator. We got to see him in action when he somehow bust through the waitress's house and painted the couch with her boss' intestines as he screamed for her (ooooh, a hint of love?) and the goth, geek, and waitress stood there screaming like we all would.

We also had our ever intelligent forensic scientist who was apparently foreign who forewarned our ever present CSI/FBI/Monster Hunter agents to remain indoors. And indoors they stayed, sleeping like good little heroes because they work hard. Oh so very hard. HARD. So hard in fact, that when they sleep, nothing-not even the screams/barking/crashing/ smashing/stomping/shrieking/roaring/scraping/hysterical laughing of the cast-could wake them. Nope. Guys gotta get their sleep. Thank you for protecting your country, gentlemen, you are an inspiration.

And, let's not forget the amazing scenes of this tiny rundown town...that has a factory that produces anything your imagination can think up. Like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory...except with dinosaurs instead of candy and oompa loompas.

My favorite parts are the dinosaurs dramatic entrances. Like when the fat, skirt chaser switches on and off all the switches that so obviously, but not obviously, say DOORS- LIGHTS- BETH *CAUTION* (our daddysgirlasaurus rex). Over and over. To test the dinosaurs ability to perceive escape.

As the waitress and goth stand in the middle of the farm, staring at him in deep contemplation of his IQ status.

And there was the fact that, as long as you don't SEE the dinosaur, even if it's behind you/ stalking you/wants to ask you about our lord and savior, it will not run after you if you run back to your friends/people who abandon you at the earliest opportunity.

And, as Madam Dark and Crazy demonstrates, YOU CAN FISH FOR RAPTORS using a toy fishing rod and a doll. Sure, go ahead, reel it in! She also showed us that dinosaurs are great back messagers. With just enough pressure, it can make you feel like it just snapped your spine oh-so good.

But don't let me tell you. Ask the FBI/Sleepyhead agents who can only be raised from their slumber by an explosion...

Not a roar.

An explosion.

This movie has got it all.

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