Machete Kills

2013

Action / Comedy / Crime / Sci-Fi / Thriller

346
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 29%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 35%
IMDb Rating 5.6 10 66425

Synopsis


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January 12, 2014 at 09:24 AM

Cast

Amber Heard as Miss San Antonio
Sofía Vergara as Desdemona
Alexa PenaVega as KillJoy
Charlie Sheen as Mr. President
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
807.96 MB
1280*720
English
R
23.976 fps
1hr 47 min
P/S 10 / 29
1.64 GB
1920*1080
English
R
23.976 fps
1hr 47 min
P/S 3 / 22

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by d-millhoff 9 / 10

My favorite Danny Trejo movie.

Very few people can pull off making a deliberately-bad movie. It usually results in a ho-hum mess like a Killer Tomatoes sequel, or an insult like Two Idiots go to Hollywood.

Robert Rodriguez is the rare exception. His half of the Grindhouse double-feature, Planet terror, was a delightful hodgepodge of hammy direction and acting, cheap special effects, over-the-top crazy violence, and grunged-up distressing to make the movie look like it's been played for years in third-run moviehouses with sticky floors and moist, smelly seats.

Machete was a spinoff based on a fake commercial that, with hollywood's greatest septuagenarian badass Danny Trejo was just too good - and bad - not to follow through with a real movie.

And the spinoff's sequel, Machete Kills, is even more batsh*t-bonkers crazy!

Hilarious, campy, and riddled with cameos, you can just tell that everyone had a great time making this movie.

I'm looking forward to the (hopefull for real) Machete Kills In Space.

Reviewed by zardoz-13 9 / 10

Machete Kills Again!!!

Danny Trejo reprises his role as the eponymous hero in writer & director Robert Rodriguez's preposterous, larger-than-life "Machete Kills," a blazing, no-holds barred, actioneer about a former cartel leader turned revolutionary who threatens to fire a missile at Washington, D.C. Predictably, Machete is sent to dispatch this unsavory character. You cannot take a movie like "Machete Kills" seriously any more than you could take a Daffy Duck cartoon seriously. However, this is the charm of this outlandish epic. The "Machete" movies are all about guts, one way or another, and our hero relies on more than his own guts to get him safely through another assignment. In the first film, he used a dying man's intestines to rappel out a window, while in the sequel, he pulls a man's guts out and slings the slimy things into the whirling rotor blades of a helicopter. The chopper blade snags the guts and hoists Machete's adversary into them, cutting him to bites. In the middle of all this mayhem, Mel Gibson pops up as the real villain. Danny Trejo plays everything straight as if he were in a serious movie and this goes a long way at the end of the day. Charlie Sheen is hilarious as Rathcock, the President of the United States. If you're a big Jessica Alba fan, you don't have to watch anything after her earlier scene where she is killed. This is just as surprising as Hitchcock's "Psycho" where Janet Leigh was offed in an earlier scene. "Machete Kills" qualifies as big dumb fun! Let's hope Rodriguez musters the nerve to pull off "Machete Kills Again . . . . In Space."

Reviewed by Charles Herold (cherold) 4 / 10

I'd rather watch the one in space

Machete Kills starts with a trailer for the sequel to Machete Kills. It's pretty funny. It's all downhill from there.

Machete Kills is a parody of bad action movies, I suppose, but it reads more like it's just a bad action movie. The dialogue is awful; not funny awful, just really bad. The action sequences are over the top yet not that much fun.

If not for that opening trailer, I'm not sure I'd even realize this was supposed to be a parody.

After watching maybe 20 minutes I got bored and read some of the IMDb reviews. Some were so enthusiastic about the action sequences that I moved forward and watched one where the movie repeats the same gag within two minutes. I was underwhelmed.

Not the movie for me.

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