Inara, the Jungle Girl

2012

Action / Adventure

1
IMDb Rating 2.2 10 690

Synopsis


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696.92 MB
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English
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23.976 fps
1hr 11 min
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1.23 GB
1920*1080
English
NR
23.976 fps
1hr 11 min
P/S 0 / 3

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by wrightiswright 1 / 10

Lmfao

The Internet acronym LMFAO = Laughing my ****ing a**e off. What I did throughout most of whatever the hell this is.

On some sort of primitive Amazonian island, where the cut off inhabitants can still apparently have access to breast augmentation, tattoos, bikinis and metal weapons, a baby is found by an errant wanderer. Flash forward 18 years, and said kid has been raised in mainstream society. She can somehow beat up four blokes twice her size even while drunk, and is the victim of two tiresome montages featuring a couple of the worst songs I've ever heard.

Wait, it gets better. She's invited along on an army expedition on the same isle she was discovered on (this is just a coincidence, by the way) and en route, the helicopter crashes. Problem is... We never SEE the collision, just a flash of white light. Obviously a victim of the high-end budget. As the only survivor, she is swiftly abducted by the resident female warriors, where she is almost immediately recognised (don't ask how) as their missing child from almost two decades ago, and consequently made queen.

Why does she accept all this so quickly? Why is she ready to give up on her old life just like THAT? How do this band of ladies procreate with no men around? Believe me, this is NOT a film to be asking questions. By doing so, you're likely end up in a straitjacket... This truly is a movie where the concept ( a bunch of Playboy rejects bounce around in minimal clothing for just over an hour) seems to have originated long before the script.

But WHAT script? This crap could have been made up on the spot. And that goes for the music too, which seems to have been put together by tone death monkeys on kazoos. The attempts at drama are so beyond parody, it's amazing the camera doesn't shake with laughter from the director at the pathetic pouting they call performing. In fact, I'm surprised ANYONE involved in the... Thing... could keep a straight face. Perhaps they were all on something, at the time of production (actually, that would explain a LOT).

I end with talking about the final 'battle', an exercise in such dismal amateurishness that it had me in absolute hysterics. These bimbettes take on a small army of trained soldiers in their swimsuits, in what must be the most horribly choreographed fight scene I've watched. The weapons NEVER make contact. A small tap sends a 6ft tall bloke hurtling through the air. We don't see anyone die... And yet, there are graves galore at the end.

If I handed out points for unintentional hilarity, this would comfortably be the best comedy I've seen this year. Alas, I do not. 0/10

Reviewed by Matt de Cunha 4 / 10

Where is the plot?

So the good points.

The cinematography is good great camera angles and well lit locations. the music/score is actually really good if a little cheesy in places but it's a lot better than most b movies.

That being said the script and acting render this film almost unwatchable.

the fight scenes are really clunky and awkward.

There doesn't seem to be a plot or reason to anything just a series of scene changes

There's some hot girls not wearing much but don't expect to much.

Reviewed by b9robot 1 / 10

Best thing was the candid footage running with the end credits

I can't believe I actually sat through the whole movie! I could forgive just about everything that is wrong with this film (there's a lot wrong, believe me) if it was a college project or a home-grown piece of fun that a bunch of friends got together to make. But, as a commercial release, a viewing audience is far less tolerant.

The pacing, mostly a result of really bad editing, barely gets past a crawl. Long, drawn out and repetitive shots abound, trying to make the most of the female eye candy on screen. All it succeeded in doing is boring me to death. Even with a bevy of quite attractive women, you need at least some acting chops to carry the story, as vapid as it is. Oh, here's a hint girls, acting angry does not mean you yell your lines unintelligibly straight at the camera...

Fight choreography was non-existent. The final battle was completely laughable, stealing beats from 'Avatar' in the lead up to it. A group of bikini clad women sporting cast off swords and shields from '300' up against a bunch of mercenary grunts three times their size and armed to the teeth just looked like a bad joke, one which the director unbelievably followed through with.

I would have given away the idea of watching it at all if I hadn't been laughing so hard. This is a film that will likely not even see the discount bins at any reputable store. Definitely one to avoid.

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