I don't even need to talk about anything that happens in the first half, because it's all dumb, boring, and visually looks really bad. The second half is where I wanted to lose hope in humanity.
Around the start of the last half of the movie, they begin to tease Galactus. If you've never read a comic with him in it or never even played Marvel Vs Capcom 3, you probably don't know who that is. In essence, he's a giant man in a blue and purple suit under a big goofy purple helmet. He was once known as Galan in a universe before the prime one in the comics. He somehow survived the death of said Universe and was merged with an entity known as the Sentience of the Multiverse to become Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds, the Monster of All Worlds, The Hunger That Does Not Cease, etc. He's quite possibly my favorite villain in the entire Marvel franchise. You can't even kill him by conventional means. He can only be defeated by using The Ultimate Nullifier, and even then he manages to live on anyways. You can negotiate with him to become his Herald in exchange for your planet's safety, but you literally don't have an afterlife if you do so. And what Galactus hungers for, he takes without question. If your planet is the one he's after, your basically screwed. He's the final boss in Marvel Vs Capcom 3's arcade mode (and UMVC3), and while they did screw up his AI to the point where he's too easy, he still has some of the best lines and one of the best music tracks in the entire game. "You dare pit your mystic arts against the Power Cosmic? ARROGANT FOOL!" -Galactus. I'm just gonna copy and paste a link for the music at the bottom of this review so you can understand what we're dealing with here. Just listening to it without any knowledge of his actual design gives off a menacing vibe. Better still, you can actually play as him in all his glory in Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3! And it might be one of the most fun experiences you'll have in a while. Giant lasers, screen wide punch attacks, one-hit-kills, it's so much fun! God I love that game. Please purchase it! You will not be let down, unlike with this movie.
So you can imagine my disappointment and rage when, in this garbage film, he's just a cloud of smoke.
That's literally it. He's just a cloud of smoke.
They tease his helmet in a scene where he goes over Saturn, and his helmet looks pretty okay. Then he actually arrives at Earth. There's no indication that he even has a helmet. There's no indication that he's even a he. He's just a cloud of "cosmic" vapor. And it kind of looks like a hand when it looms closer to the Earth. I don't- I DON'T KNOW! This is possibly the worst redesign a movie has ever given a villain. At least in Doctor Strange, Dormammu may look really bad compared to his actual comic book design, but they made up for that by having one of the coolest sequences in any movie, maybe ever!
Botched design aside, whatever. Galactus is on Earth, and unless Reed Richards over here wants to give up his afterlife then Earth is about to be torn apart. Get ready for really cool destruction!...
Oh wait, that didn't happen either.
Literally all that happens in the climax where the cloud of smoke draws near is just that; the cloud of smoke draws near, the sky darkens... and that's it. No destruction, nothing cool, just a waste of time. And as Doctor Doom is fighting a powered-up version of The Human Torch, Silver Surfer flies up to stop him. Hah! What an idiot! He's already given up so much, and now he's trying to kill the unkillable!
Oh. It actually worked. He literally threw his Silver Surfer brand Surfboard into the "Heart of Galactus" and blew up. Then Galactus went bye-bye. Wow. Just... wow.
Please don't watch this movie. I don't even have anything else to say. I just... I just really want there to be an actually good version of Galactus in some movie soon. Read up on his history, I'll provide the link. Please do your research on the greatest Marvel villain of all time, and stay far away from this film.