Where's the handsome middle brother & the sexy older brother who plays the drums? Where's Steve Zahn who plays the Father? They make another Wimpy Kid but don't have any of the original players? That's just too harsh. Too different. Too hard to adjust to. I couldn't watch the whole thing.

This film is unwatchable. I suffered through the 91 minutes, which somehow felt longer than the extended edition of Fellowship of the Ring. The new cast was horrific, the script was aimed at toddlers and the acting was the worst that I have seen in recent memory. While I do not think that the original films are phenomenal, I spent the majority of the film wishing that I was watching one of them. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul lacked charm and felt like when you accidentally buy Great Value chips instead of Lays.

Even I have to laugh at the #notmyrodrick uproar. It's the silver lining in all of this. "The Long Haul" is atrocious, a dumbed-down sequel that tosses out the series' charms for the cheap gags. It's got DTV written all over it, which does not do the book justice. And it was a great book!

It was about six months ago that we saw the trailer for this in the theater. Tom Everett Scott and Alicia Silverstone start jamming to The Spice Girls' "Wannabe", and a kid in the back of the theater asks, "Mommy, what are they saying?".

That moment was funnier than anything in the movie.

3/10