Conan the Destroyer

1984

Action / Adventure / Fantasy

26
Rotten Tomatoes Critics - Rotten 26%
Rotten Tomatoes Audience - Spilled 38%
IMDb Rating 5.9 10 68257

Synopsis


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Cast

Olivia d'Abo as Princess Jehnna
Grace Jones as Zula
Tracey Walter as Malak
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
731.97 MB
1280*544
English
NR
23.976 fps
1hr 43 min
P/S 3 / 16
1.53 GB
1920*816
English
NR
23.976 fps
1hr 43 min
P/S 4 / 14

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by ozborovac 7 / 10

Okay, an Austrian, a basketball player, a supermodel, a Japanese-American and Andre the Giant go into a bar...

For the sake of argument, let's presume that Conan the Destroyer is better than Conan the Barbarian. Now, why would anyone say something as crazy as that, what can compare to the riddle of steel? After all, what kind of a fantasy movie can stand up to Milius' quintessential sword and sorcery epic?

A very, very stupid one.

After the end of the first movie, Barbarian extraordinaire Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and his new thief friend Malak (Tracey Walter) are hanging around a stone bed inside some random quarry, doing nothing in particular, when suddenly a band of marauders appears and tries to kidnap them. Conan and his friend dispatch them with ease, when the marauder's leader, queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) steps forward and reveals her intentions with the duo. She needs them to escort her niece, princess Jehnna (Olivia d Abo) on a quest for a mystical item that will resurrect her imprisoned god. Spurred on by Jehnna's promise to revive Conan's lover Valeria, he embarks on an adventure filled quest that has him questing alongside Jehnna's sworn protector Bombaata (Wilt Chamberlain), the badass Amazonian warrior Zula (Grace Jones) and Conan's chronicler, the wizard Akiro (Mako).

Let's be frank, the storytelling in this movie isn't exactly profound as it is more focused on delivering a satisfying fantasy experience. The main goal instead is to instill a sense of adventure by having the characters move through a series of situations straight out of a pen and paper role-playing game. And what a group of characters it is, Wilt Chamberlain's character is an excellent foil for Conan especially considering the fact that he makes Schwazenegger's mountain of muscles seem tiny when compared to this towering Harlem Globetrotter. Conan's friend Malak has the spurious distinction of delivering some of the most cringe inducing lines in any fantasy movie. A couple of the jokes halfway hit the mark, and while the rest of them are generally painful there is humor to be had. While comedies generally have scores of writers forging the perfect jokes , Conan the Destroyer has an obliviousness to how to world works, a kind of savant naivety that makes it feel earnest rather than just plain dumb.

Elsewhere, Grace Jones' manic portrayal of Zula is one of the more intense parts of the movie. The idea of having a supermodel act in a trashy fantasy film might seem oddball, but Jones' ferocious energy and striking appearance make her a suitable part of this merry band. Olivia d Abo's Jehhna serves as something of an emotional anchor to this world filled with weirdos, and she remains a sweet if ineffective romantic counterpart. Mako's Akiro is destined to be your stoner friend's favorite character, because Hey! He is the goddamn wizard, dude! He does cool spells and knows stuff about the world! He also saves the day in a deus ex machina kind of way!

It's genuinely hard to get a census on what the definitive Schwarzenegger movie is, but you can't say that the Conan movies are one of the Austrian behemoth's finest movies. And I stress movies over acting here as, let's face it, Scharzenegger isn't exactly the greatest actor. Sure, he is an avatar, an idea of a brawny ubermensch that people strive to. But these movies understand what it takes to effectively sell that idea. Stick Arnold in a loincloth, have him speak as little as possible, have him lift one of those styrofoam rocks you see in fantasy movies, get a beautiful woman to swoon over him, have him fight room-sized rubber monstrosities, add in the occasional sword battle and bada-bing! Instant classic.

Another noteworthy part of the movie is the exceptional set and environmental design. You simply don't get this kind of attention to detail, even with high tech CGI. The interiors of castles and dungeons are delightfully stylized, ancient tombs are well realized and foreboding and the move lets the viewer sink in all of the impressive minutia. Sure, it's plexiglass and styrofoam, but it does it's best to sell a rich fantasy world. But the unquestionably finest part of Conan the Destroyer is Basil Poledouris' majestic score. Reusing elements from Conan the Barbarian and adding a number of new themes, this soundtrack effectively brings this fantasy to reality. Choppy editing and corny dialogue fail to kill the impact certain scenes have the moment the score kicks in. At times dreamlike, at others thundering, the music provides this film with a drive far beyond the one found in the screenplay or the acting.

To go back to the initial idea about Destroyer being better than Barbarian, let's compare it negatively as well. Firstly, Barbarian has a far stronger introduction, one that sets up the movie's basic themes and conflicts extremely efficiently. The iconic beginning might be that movie's finest part, and Destroyer's does measly little in that regard except establish that this ride will be more relaxed. Overall, Barbarian is noticeably more serious, and there are fans that far prefer that kind of tone for a fantasy movie, this one on the other hand is more fanciful and spontaneous in its depiction of Conan's world. Both Barbarian and Destroyer are structured in almost episodic way, and while Barbarian seems to linger on these vignettes a little too long with inconsistent payoff, Destroyer at least delivers a fascinating new locale, or a dynamic action scene or at the very worst, innuendo-laden dialogue. One thing that Destroyer absolutely lacks , is a villain. Barbarian has James Earl Jones' magnificent portrayal of Thulsa Doom, a truly epic villain, brimming with memorable lines. Destroyer's gallery of rogues fails to come anywhere near.

To enjoy Conan the Destroyer, you need to see it with a child's eye of wonder. Have a drink, call in your friends, spark a little doobage and let yourself be drawn into this often silly, occasionally inspired and always bat-poop crazy world.

Reviewed by Eddie Cantillo 10 / 10

Conan The Destroyer (1984)

Conan The Destroyer (1984) Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain, Tracey Walter, Mako, Sarah Douglas, Olivia d'Abo, Pat Roach, Jeff Corey, Sven-Ole Thorsen, André the Giant and Ferdy Mayne Directed By: Richard Fleischer Review THE MOST POWERFUL LEGEND OF ALL IS BACK IN A NEW ADVENTURE. After the first Conan film making it big at the box office a sequel was on the cards an not just a sequel but apparently Arnold was signed on for a ten year contract with Deno De Laurentiis, the plan was to produce a Conan movie every two years. After watching this I wish that was the case. Conan the Destroyer features the hero (Arnold Schwarzenegger) as he is commissioned by the queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) to safely escort a teen princess (Olivia D'Abo) and her powerful bodyguard (Wilt Chamberlain) to a far away castle to retrieve the magic Horn of Dagon. Unknown to Conan, the queen plans to sacrifice the princess when she returns and inherit her kingdom after the bodyguard kills Conan. The queen's plans fail to take into consideration Conan's strength and cunning and the abilities of his sidekicks: the eccentric wizard Akiro (Mako), the wild woman Zula (Grace Jones), and the inept Malak (Tracey Walter). Together the hero and his allies must defeat both mortal and supernatural foes in this voyage to sword-and-sorcery land. This follow-up was made to address the issues fans had with the first movie. They put in a higher fantasy element and the film was more outlandish and colorful much like the comic from Marvel(funny actually) from the 1970s-1993. It left fans of the first film disappointed(shocked I am not) many cited the change of tone and push for a more family- friendly approach as the wrong way to go but on the plus side some critics felt it was a fun sword/sorcery film that was obviously faithful to the Marvel comics, since Edward R. Pressman suggested that the writer of those comics Roy Thomas write the script. The ending was suppose to have a demon instead but things seemed to expensive and they had to be scaled down. Roy and Gerry weren't happy with the end result of the script. Universal and Dino wanted to maximize profits for the sequel and the best course of action was to try and reduce the rating to a PG and appeal to younger viewers. Arnold expressed his concern on the reduced violence he felt they were going to alienate the fans and would cause problems with its success, but he still had fun making the film. Arnold is back and he does a pretty good job in the film, I can't necessarily say that he was just as good as he was in the first because I don't think hes that good here but hes still the person that will always come to mind when I think of Conan. He put on an extra ten pounds for the role. Sarah Dogulas who plays queen Taramia is just as great as she is in another comic book movie Superman II. Grace Jones plays Zula a character who was originally a man and created by Roy Thomas in the Marvel comics. Olivia d'Abo in her film debut and was only 15 years old at the time of shooting plays the beautiful princess Jehnna, for her film debut she did pretty good but was mostly screaming every time she got captured which for some could be pretty annoying but it didn't bother me. Tracey Walter plays Malick a thief who works along side Conan and is a bit of a coward who doesn't care much for the quest. Mako is back as Akiro the wizard to help Conan fight off other wizards along the way and is only other returning cast member from the first movie. The movies visual effects are still pretty great despite usage of blue screen. But the miniatures are the effects that are the best, like the castles and expand the world. The beast the wizard turns into is a nice design but doesn't give the actor much to do with his facial features. The winged creature that he also turns into is also nicely executed. The films goal was not only to capitalize on the success of the first film but to also make a more comic book style sword and sorcery adventure. The story and other characters do feel pretty weak given how good there performers are. The film does have quite a few problems such as that and can suck you out of it if your looking for something more. The tone is also not consistent with its first movie which is kind of problem considering how masterful I think that movie is. Conan The Destroyer is a fun watch but don't expect the first movie. Its goal was to have a higher fantasy elements and be more colorful towards children. With that in mind I think its great as a stand- alone film not as a sequel and I'm a huge sucker for sword/sorcery. It has good performances and great action and music but it is weak on story and side characters. Call me crazy but I still love it just as much as the first but for totally different reason I'm giving Conan The Destroyer a five out of five.

Reviewed by Eric Stevenson 4 / 10

Really dumb

As someone who personally just found the original "Conan The Barbarian" film to just be mediocre, I didn't have high hopes for this film. It's probably because it's poorly paced and doesn't have interesting characters. The plot is that Conan is sent by an evil queen on some mission to resurrect his dead lover. He realizes he's being tricked and they're going to sacrifice her niece. Apparently, Wilt Chamberlain played a woman in this movie. Why don't they have a thumbnail image for him on this website? It's a really dumb casting choice. There's this one guy who's also really obnoxious and he reminded me of Rob Schneider.

There actually is an interesting bit at the end where a sea monster god appears. What's fascinating is that the creator of "Conan The Barbarian" was friends with the creator of the Cthulhu mythos. They subtly referenced each other in their works. I'm wondering if the sea monster god that appears is supposed to be one of the creatures from the Cthulhu mythos. I so missed James Earl Jones from the last movie as this new villain was nowhere near as entertaining. Oh and happy tenth anniversary, Nostalgia Critic! I'm celebrating you by reviewing films you have already reviewed! *1/2

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