Blood Diner starts as youngsters George (Sir Rodenheaver) & Michael Tutman (Roxanne Cybelle) witness their uncle Anwar (Drew Godderis) get shot by the police but not before he gives them an ancient Egyptian amulet belonging to evil God Sheetar. Twenty years later & George (Carl Crew) & Micheal (Rick Burks) run a successful vegetarian diner by day & help their uncle Anwar's disembodied brain in a jar organise a 'blood buffet' in which they will resurrect Sheetar inside a stitched together body made from human parts from the people they murder, any left over parts are cooked & served up in their diner. Local LAPD cops Mark Shepard (Roger Dauer) & Sheba Jackson (LaNette La France) are on the case & trying to figure out who is murdering & dismembering pretty young girls...

Co-produced & directed by Jackie Kong one has to say that Blood Diner seems to divide opinion with those who love it's bizarreness, it's odd quirky sense of humour & gore & there are those like me who just think it's an idiotic piece of crap with no redeeming value. Originally envisioned as a sequel to the Herschell Gordon Lewis horror flick Blood Feast (1963) in which a guy tries to arrange an Egyptian 'blood feast' to resurrect an ancient Egyptian Goddess so both have similar stories although somebody decided Blood Diner should stand alone as a horror comedy in it's own right, it's just a shame they forgot to include any horror or comedy which could be considered a bit of an oversight. I have read plenty of review of Blood Diner that praise it for it's comedy but for the life of me I can't see anything funny here at all, the moronic lowbrow comedy like puking diner customers, talking brains in jars, bands dressed like Adlof Hitler, dumb one-liners & people trying to drive with both their hands severed make the Police Academy films look sophisticated. The plot is meandering, the majority of what happens seems random like the makers were making it up as they went along, the character's are awful, the dialogue is poor & even some blood & naked breast's can't save it. Blood Diner is not a funny experience or a scary experience & overall it didn't do anything for me.

The whole film is very camp, silly & at times surreal with a bizarre subplot about an Adolf Hitler impersonating wrestler (along with the Adolf Hitler band, do you notice a trend here?) & a talking shop dummy who for no reason whatsoever seems to be alive despite being, well, a shop dummy. There's a fair amount of naked female cleavage on show including topless aerobics. The gore didn't impress me much & I reckon the original Blood Feast is more excessive, there are a few body parts, a brain in a jar, some blood splatter, a guy has his hands cut off, there are a couple of decapitations, a head is crushed under a car tyre & someone is cut in two. There are some zombies at the end too as well as Sheetar who has a huge mouth in her stomach for some reason. The film looks alright with some nice neon lit scenes but it still doesn't make it any more watchable. The one & only time Blood Diner has ever been released here in the UK it had 3 minutes & 53 seconds cut from it & looking at an uncut version today I have no idea what those cuts could have been.

The budget was probably reasonable & it looks alright with decent production values & it's a shame it didn't turn out better. The acting mostly be people who had never acted before or since making Blood Diner is pretty poor & it's also interesting to note director Jackie Kong hasn't made another film since this either.

Blood Diner is a moronic horror comedy that fails miserably on both counts & just ends up being a random mess with an odd fixation for Adolf Hitler impersonators. Some seem to like it but I didn't & the current lowly IMDb 'User Rating' of 3 probably gives a fairer idea of what the general opinion of people actually is.

By practically all accounts, "Blood Diner" is the average slasher flick that they cranked out in the '80s: naked women, lots of gore, and deliberate absurdity.

Ah, but this one is unique. At the movie's culmination, they play the same Wagner music used in Chuck Jones's "What's Opera Doc?". Yes, how could it be that a movie about a pair of brothers running a restaurant so as to collect body parts for the reincarnation of an ancient evil goddess could bring to mind Bugs Bunny's all time masterpiece? I don't know, but trust me, this is a cool movie! As with most such movies, it's a big excuse to have fun; a total guilty pleasure. Definitely worth seeing. To rework what Bugs Bunny said at the end of "What's Opera Doc?": Well, what did you expect in a comedy-horror flick? A normal ending?

Oh, and he said that Connie is a lovely name. If you know who Connie Hines is, then you'll REALLY have to agree!

Look what's on the menu at the Blood Diner: an all you can eat buffet of hokey joke-shop dismemberment and gore, followed by a main course of sick humour and a side order of gratuitous nudity, all topped with a generous serving of 80s cheese. Sounds tasty, huh?

Well, director Jackie Kong's Blood Diner sure sounds like mouth-watering stuff for fans of silly low budget schlock-horror—but, unfortunately, despite having all the correct ingredients, what Kong serves up is an overcooked mess, and I found I lost my appetite pretty quickly.

The story—a kind of unofficial sequel to H. G. Lewis's gore classic Blood Feast—follows two brothers as they set about preparing an all meat buffet (made from the body parts of immoral women) in preparation for the revival of an ancient Egyptian goddess. With the help of their Uncle Anwar (a talking disembodied brain in a jar), they gather the special ingredients needed for their ritual. Meanwhile, a couple of cops attempt to find out who is responsible for the spate of grisly murders that have been happening in the area.

With shockingly awful acting from all involved, bags of unconvincing gore, and some of the most unbelievably insane and random 'comedy' imaginable (topless aerobics, a ventriloquist chef, a Hitler impersonating wrestler) Blood Diner is certainly a 'unique' viewing experience, but it isn't one that I found very enjoyable (and I'm usually rather partial to bad films).

By the final scene—in which the audience at a bizarre rock concert (where an absurdly bequiffed singer is supported on stage by, amongst others, a pantomime horse and two trumpet-playing 'hitlers'!!) turn into zombies and feed upon the buffet of human flesh, thereby reviving the ancient goddess—I had had more than enough of this garbage! The dreadfully puerile humour, thoroughly annoying characters, and bargain basement effects made this crap-fest as hard to stomach as some of Troma's worst efforts. And that's saying something!